Torn
by Departed
Summary: Whether Bella wanted it or not, she had a choice. One that could be answered in a single question: Who would she rather spend forever with? Oneshot. A/B, E/B


**Title: **Torn

**Rating: **K+

**Pairing: **Alice/Bella, Edward/Bella

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

It was supposed to be an unbreakable link between vampire and human. A forbidden romance between two entirely different creatures, held together not by the support of others, but the spark of fire elicited from unconditional love.

It was a fairytale; one undeniably enclosed within the dream of every girl. A passion so great that not even eternity could possibly obliterate such a permanent bond.

It was meant to be. And it's exactly what she wanted to retain and not the split heart granted by having a beloved who had so much as consumed her soul. Devoured it whole, piece by piece, and replaced it with devotion.

No hesitation.

That's what she told herself everyday, every minute of the day until she could no longer stop thinking about it. Edward's love for her may had taken what mattered, but it was the thoughts of betrayal that her mind surrendered to. And, eventually, the half that she had so willingly given up submitted, too.

The truth hurts when you realize it was never a lie.

* * *

Bella watched from afar.

It was all she could do when it became her main priority to hide her emotions. But, like everyone else affected by Jasper's ability, the only options were blending in with the people around you, and combining the burst of envy with all other sensations.

She was jealous – despite the dominating side of her that denied it – and it drastically grew as she watched her soon-to-be sister about to go off on her umpteenth honeymoon. From the very last step on the Cullens's interminable staircase, Bella could see stack after stack of luggage.

She could make out the faint goodbyes and the cheerful 'have a good time!' Heck, even Emmett's 'don't forget to pack some toys' and the smack on the side of his head didn't go unnoticed. It was entertaining, to say the least, but Bella just couldn't find it in herself to be the little sister she was and taunt the burly vampire on his own sex life.

Bella wasn't sure what caused the flashes of green. She reminded herself it had everything to do with the intimacy she had with Edward. She was jealous because the Cullens could get what she couldn't, and Alice and Jasper's trip to South America merely emphasized that point.

It made perfect sense, really. If she couldn't make love to her mate, why did she want to be reminded of other paired off members that _could_?

It was tricky, but it did dawn on her that that wasn't the case. If she envied the two for their chances to lie beneath the moonlight and caress the other without fear, why didn't she feel the same way when Rosalie pounced on Emmett right in the middle of the living room? Or Carlisle and Esme's small moments in the middle of the night?

"Bella, don't make me come up there!" Alice's smooth but playful voice called from the front door.

Bella wasn't planning on moving, but even if she stood immediately and stumbled down the stairs without falling, she wouldn't have made it down the next step. She was taken aback by the force of impact as the smallest Cullen embraced her, the scent of jasmine overcoming her sense of smell.

"You weren't planning on saying goodbye," Alice muttered with a glare. It wasn't a question.

"Is that suddenly a crime?" Bella snapped before she could stop herself. She silently groaned, knowing the harsh tone wasn't intentional. It didn't help any to watch the other girl's puzzled gaze.

"No," she breathed out. The damage was done. "I guess it isn't."

She then sprinted back downstairs, not once meeting Bella's eye and she was grateful for that. Any eye contact would've broken through Bella's wall and she'd immediately apologize, which was something that didn't go well with her anger.

The front door slammed and the house was then greeted by a silence not comfortable for Bella. She remained in her spot for a few seconds before heading toward her sanctuary, a throbbing pain gnawing at her chest.

* * *

Nobody knew what to make of Bella's isolation, or the way she practically gave Alice the cold shoulder. It wasn't like her, and it worried Edward to no end, seeing his lover act like she was sinking into her miseries. As irritating as it was to not be able to read her mind, the moment would've been perfect to do so.

Bella didn't resist as Edward wrapped her into his arms, pressing his stone-like chest against her back. It felt nice. It felt _right._ But even the familiarity of his gesture wasn't enough to break her thoughts.

"What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," she murmured.

"Yes, you are," he pointed out and held her tighter.

Bella wasn't about to reveal whatever was on her mind. What was in there pained her, and would only inflict the pain on those who didn't deserve it. She deserved the pain. The anguish. It served her right for thinking and feeling things that she shouldn't.

She cuddled up against Edward's chest and relished the coolness of the skin underneath his t-shirt. She brought her lips up to his, then kissed him with an added plus that was collected throughout the whole day.

"I love you," Bella whispered. She buried her face into his neck, mentally repeating those three words over and over again.

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

* * *

"You know, I _do _recall you saying you were using that moisturizer I gave you." Alice dipped lower until she was at an equal height to the white vanity table. She rummaged through a pile of make up and other supplies Bella wasn't familiar with, which was expected, considering she only used a tint of eyeliner and lip gloss to 'enhance' her features.

"I don't need it," said Bella. She brushed her hand against her cheek and stopped midway when Alice held a firm grip on her wrist.

"You're peeling," she added. Bella pouted, but kept her mouth shut, allowing the dark haired woman to run a gentle brush across her jaw line and up. She didn't say anything to evoke an idea when she realized it tickled.

"I also said I'd let you give me a quick make up session," Bella argued. "Thirty seven minutes and twelve seconds isn't quick."

"You're really counting?" Alice teasingly asked.

"What else would I be doing?" Bella stated clearly and boldly, far too forced to make it believable. Yes, she was counting. And yes, without a doubt, there was nothing better to do but count the seconds that ticked by. It was also the only technique Bella used when she felt confused or panicked.

More pressure was applied as the attention went to Bella's lips. A wet, sticky substance. Lipgloss. The counting sped up. No longer were the numbers representing the amount of time she sat there, at Alice's mercy, but a diversion for the series of leaps in her stomach and the tightness in her throat.

Bella paused in her countdown to stare at the cause of this horrendous torture. Her glance lingered, questioning the closeness of the delicate face before her and the way topaz eyes hung on to every sweep, every smear of the strawberry gloss.

Alice came to a halt, apparantly sensing the stare without having to look, and met Bella's perplexed gaze. For several seconds, the two were absorbed by the other's expression. Bella was one to suffer through more than a mere fascination by the beauty of a vampire and the intensity of this exchange. She was drawn in.

"All done," Alice muttered. She turned the chair toward the mirror, allowing Bella access to get a good look at her hard work and determination. "Told you it'd be worth it."

Bella stiffly nodded. She did stare. In fact, she could even say she didn't regret having to spare a little less than an hour to clown up her face. But what she saw wasn't the jester girl with half a pound of garbage on, but someone pitiful. Unrecognizable. Someone with eyes as empty as her soul.

* * *

"Edward, can I ask you something?"

Bella stood near the entrance of the kitchen, dressed in a plain navy blue tank top and a pair of bunny pajama pants to match. The outfit, of course, was not of her choosing. It was just downright impossible to say 'no' to a certain future-seeing Cullen.

"Of course, love." She felt her heart melt once he gave her her favorite smile, where as the flutter was more relieving than the smile itself. "What would you like for dinner?"

"I'm not hungry," she replied truthfully.

"Bella, you haven't eaten since noon," Edward argued.

"Esme's burgers filled me up."

"You need to eat healthier," he proceeded. "How about chicken? I'm sure it can't be that difficult to make."

Bella, fighting the urge to sigh, simply nodded and took a seat in front of the counter, fidgeting with nerves. Her anxiety had been a concern for the weeks she had been staying in the Cullen household, but now it grew drastically. In fact, her emotions alone have been going haywire. She needed release.

She observed with disinterest as Edward scanned each and every cabinet within reach, jumping on top of the counter for the higher ones above the fridge.

"Chicken's in the fridge," Bella stated with a bit of humor. After receiving the grateful glance while Edward had the chicken and a cooking book in hand, she decided to speak up. "Edward… I… this probably isn't the best time to ask. But before you say anything –"

"What the hell is that?" Emmett's annoying interruptions typically had their bad timing. He stood before the back door with a disgusted expression, a look he obtained whenever he was around human food.

"Bella's dinner," Edward dryly replied.

A whiff. "Ugh." Emmett held his head back. "Smells like dog shit."

Edward then proceeded in offering an insult of his own, which Bella did not hear nor care for as the two bickered over whether the comment weakened her appetite or not.

"I'm sorry, Bella. What were you saying?" Edward asked once Emmett managed to escape the kitchen with the last word, much to his delight.

Bella simply shrugged and stood from her seat. "Nothing," she muttered absentmindedly. "Nothing at all."

* * *

"Let me see your wrist."

The water was warm, temperate, a change from the blazing hot temperature it was set at a few minutes ago. The air itself was slightly cooler than what Bella desired, though she could guess it had to do with the closeness of Alice's frame by hers. With that in mind, she was more mesmerized than anything else.

Concealed by the extra bubbles added for a thorough cleaning, Bella's nude figure shifted against the bathtub, fingertips trailing on top of the floor.

"It's fine, Alice. It isn't hurting anymore," Bella explained. Her hand found its way into Alice's, nonetheless, and she decided it was best to stop her mind from wandering if she couldn't be aware of her physical surroundings.

"I just want to make sure. You didn't exactly fall on a pile of cushions." Her hand was cold; it was sort of like an electric current due to the contrast of Bella's body temperature. She shivered and allowed her wrist to be judged in the eyes of a vampire. For all she knew, vampires probably had x-ray vision.

"Your fingers look like raisins, Bella," she added, giggling. Bella couldn't refrain from breaking into a smile as well. It soon turned into a frown once the attention was shifted to her ring finger, the ring itself enclosed tightly around her skin. Alice tinkled with it for a moment, twisting the band around and getting to know the shiny stone that would soon tie her love for Edward for eternity.

She looked up. "He would've listened if he were given the chance, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"Edward," Alice clarified. "You were going to ask him what he would do if he had to choose between you or someone he loves just as equally."

Bella cringed. She had meant to play with the question a bit and make it more subtle, but other than that, those would've been her exact words. The only other problem with it was that that other someone was already taken and would more than likely not return the feelings.

She didn't need Alice's ability to know what response she would've received.

"You just have to think about it in a different perspective," Alice continued. "Who would you rather spend forever with?"

Bella had long gone down that road. "It's not as easy as you think."

"I know," she murmured. "Believe me. I know."

Bella's curiosity was ignited with a burst of flames, followed by that same tug of pain she experienced nearly every day. Bella wanted to ask how she knew; how she was aware of the hurt elicited by having fallen for someone who was not supposed to be your soul mate. But she was scared. Terrified, in fact.

"Yeah, well, not like it matters anyway." And, without thinking, she added, "She doesn't feel the same way."

"How would you know?" asked Alice, a trace of a smile spreading warmly over her lips. "You haven't asked me yet, have you?"

* * *

Bella could remember the last kiss they had. It was clear, lucid, like television without sound. She could remember it not because it was recent – specifically last night – but because it was also the last time she had attempted to seduce him.

Whether he realized it or not, Edward's intimacy that night surpassed any other make out session they had together. He touched her breast once; more like a brush, really, but it was easily a breathtaking moment. And his hands had slid down her sides and gently massaged her waist.

It ended just as quickly as it started, leaving Bella with a soaring heart and even more sexual frustration. But she cuddled up next to him. She relished any little bit of affection she could get.

"I promise it will come soon," Edward had whispered, placing a finger on her engagement ring. "It's only a matter of time."

Bella listened. She heard.

She reacted by pretending to sleep.

* * *

The door swung open with little force, as it was already open just a crack. Bella was halfway hoping it would be locked and she could simply turn on her heel and head back to her safe zone. But it was her feet driving her actions, not her thoughts, so she didn't know what to think when she barged into Alice's room.

Maybe she was expecting the worse, such as Alice sprawled naked on the bed with Jasper on top of her. She was too overwhelmed with emotions to consider that Jasper had gone to run some errands, and that Alice was standing a few feet away.

What she didn't expect was for Alice to stare at her knowingly, as if she was aware of why Bella was here and was anticipating the decision. As if she was saying, 'I dare you to do it.' So, Bella acted on impulse. She kissed her.

And Alice kissed back.

The words _screamed _at her like a roaring tornado, practically deafening her with the sound of her own voice and constant pulsing ringing in her ears. Bella could only feel the lips molding into hers that differentiated from Edward's in so many ways. She barely even noticed the light push into the edge of the bed, where Alice straddled her in one fluent movement.

She kissed Bella's forehead and trailed her lips down her nose, cheeks, jaw, and finally her mouth.

"You aren't dreaming," Alice stated, answering her unspoken question.

"Are you sure? Maybe if I pinch myself –" Bella halted against Alice's lips.

"I'm sure," she assured her, flashing a grin that could easily light up an entire stadium. "This is real," she urged softly. Alice held onto her gaze as her fingers gradually fumbled over the buttons of Bella's shirt.

* * *

"Edward asked me to stay away from you."

Bella, who was comfortably seated on one end of the couch, instantly snapped her eyes away from her old, tattered copy of _Wuthering Heights. _"What?" Her eyes widened in alarm. "No – he didn't –"

"I'm not unaffected by his ability, Bella," Alice explained. Her gaze lingered on the floor before guiding it toward the walls, anywhere but in Bella's direction. "I think he suspects."

"_What _exactly does he suspect? We haven't done anything." It was partly true in Bella's mind. They had not gone very far at all once Alice sensed Bella's uncertainty, though Bella was almost positive that one of them would've stopped if both were convinced of what they wanted.

Alice didn't say anything.

"You're going to listen to him, aren't you?" asked Bella. Her tone dripped with disappointment and something else she couldn't decipher.

"No," Alice said, heightening Bella's spirits. She took a seat beside the brunet and gently held onto her hands. "I've already made my decision," she continued.

Bella gave her a questioning look. "You don't mean –"

Alice nodded, her sullen expression clearly mirroring her emotions. "That's why Jasper's been gone for the past few days. We talked about it and… it's over, Bella. We've… we've ended our marriage."

It took all of Bella's self control to refrain from gasping, but the restraint did nothing to stop the whimpers and the flashes of sheer horror exploding inside her.

"_Why?_" She didn't want this. She _never _wanted this. It was going to _tear apart _the people she considered to be her second family, and it would be her fault. The people she _loved _and _adored_ – "Why, why, _why_?"

She was crying, and she wished more than anything that she was a vampire right then just so she couldn't.

"Bella, listen to me. _Please_," Alice begged, pulling Bella into a tight – at least for a human – embrace. "This is not your fault and you are under no obligation to leave Edward. You have a choice."

"I can't," Bella whispered. Shaking her head, she tried to escape from Alice's grip, which she refused to comply with. "Let me go, Alice."

Alice was not the least bit fazed by the rude command, but did as she was told, something Bella hadn't expected. Bella couldn't bring herself to leave with her body and mind being on opposite ends for guidance.

"I love you," Alice whispered. "I just want you to know that."

Those three words streamed through her lips like a soft melody in Bella's ears, sung through sincerity that she couldn't doubt even if she tried. And Bella did try, only to come up with a single conclusion.

She had to choose.

* * *

_Edward_, Bella thought. _Of course it's Edward._

She had to stick with that decision, otherwise she would mull over her two options once again and it would never end. But as she stared at the photo before her – taunting her, ridiculing – her mind went hazy and she unconsciously clenched her teeth in an act of frustration.

She shouldn't have been holding onto that photo, but she couldn't bring herself to put it away. It was the only one she had of the Cullen family with herself included and, despite the extra difficulty it added for her, it was one of her most prized possessions.

Her eyes continuously drifted from Edward, whose arms were around Bella's in a protective-like stance, to Alice, beaming at the camera like it was the happiest day of her life.

And every time Bella looked at her smiling face, it only confused her even more.

"We aren't going anywhere, love."

Bella jumped at the sound of Edward's voice. "Huh?"

"The picture," Edward pointed as he took Bella into his arms. "You stare at it as if my family will suddenly disappear."

He had no idea how right he was.

"Remember that picnic we all had together? The one Rose actually treated me nicely for once?" Bella asked him, fingering the photo once more. "It's one of my greatest memories."

She didn't know why. Maybe it was because of the feeling that time elicited from her; to spend the day with the Cullens and be a part of them, part of the family. But she knew better. She knew it had everything to do with it being the first time she saw Alice in a new light.

She just didn't know it at the time.

"Bella?" There was a hesitation in the pronunciation of her name, which Bella easily took note of as Edward took in a deep breath. "Marry me."

"I thought we've already been through this," Bella muttered, slightly amused. "Is one proposal not good enough for you?"

"No," he uttered, earning himself a puzzled look. "I didn't mean it that way," he corrected. "Marry me. Right now."

Bella sat up. "What?"

"I can hire someone to do it. We can get married tonight and no one has to be there. Just the two of us."

"You can't be serious –" she began.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Edward questioned. "I made a promise to you and I intend on keeping it. All I need is your love, Bella," he continued softly. "And we'll be together forever."

Bella blinked, that single most meaningful word slamming into her like a brick wall, only it felt she was traveling at two hundred miles an hour before doing so. In a single second, her heart had stopped beating and she could sense the deafening silence closing in on her.

What was more, she couldn't figure out why she hadn't agreed instantly. It was what she wanted, like Edward said. Why was she vacillating in her options?

_Because there aren't any. _

_That's not true. I have a ton of choices._

_But there's only one that makes sense._

"Love?"

Bella quickly snapped out of her reverie, the faint ache of reality seeping through her skin. "I'll need time to get ready."

* * *

Bella was sorting through the mass of garbage in her closet when she felt the light whish of wind blow through the window. She didn't need to look to know it was Alice because, for one, her scent was easily distinct able, and her presence alone sent off this… _radiation _that Bella had no control over. She could feel it.

"What're you doing here, Alice? Now's not the time," Bella said, maintaining her self control. She refused to look at her as she carried a pile of rumpled up clothing to her bed.

"I had a vision," she heard Alice murmur. "I wanted to see if it was true."

"It is," Bella replied, going back to her closet for more. "We're getting married tonight."

There was an intake of breath coming from the other side of the room, which brought enough damage to Bella's heart than she would've liked.

"I know you wanted to set up a huge wedding for us, but that isn't what _I _wanted. It'll be better. For the both of us."

"I –"

"You told me to choose, and I did."

"Bella –"

"I love him, Alice."

Bella didn't interrupt this time when she heard the other girl speak, because that one word had its full meaning. "Okay."

Bella stopped midway once the fresh coat of pain had done its job, finally getting a good view of the woman she was trying so hard to overlook. "That's it?" she asked, not even bothering to hold back her tears. "That's all you're going to say?"

Alice shrugged.

"I can't believe you," whispered Bella.

"What more would you like me to say?" said Alice. "Don't go? Choose me over my brother? Is that what you want? You want me to beg?"

"No!"

"You have no idea how much this is killing me inside, Bella," she went on, clearly wounded. "But all I want is for you to be happy, and if that happiness is with Edward." And she paused. "Who am I to stop you?"

A shiver quickly raced through Bella's frame, eventually becoming tremors before she fell to her knees and held back no longer. She let it all out; the fresh layer of newly formed tears, and the scream of agony swelling in her chest.

Alice was beside her in a flash, and instantly Bella grasped for her and allowed herself to look directly into the eyes of the other girl. In a quick and thoughtless act, Bella pressed her lips once more against Alice's, pouring every ounce of her desire into this one meaningful kiss.

"I love you. Forever," Bella whispered, kissing her again. "And ever." Another kiss. "And ever."

"You have a chance to eternity right in front of you," Alice sighed after a few seconds, letting her hand drift to meet thick, brown hair. "Forever's a long time, Bella. More than you can ever imagine."

"And if I told you the person I want to spend it with is you, what would you say?"

Alice smiled. "I'd say I'm right here."


End file.
